Kendrick Lamar’s “i” & Respect of Self

Above you’ll find Kendrick Lamar‘s latest single, “i.” If you find yourself to be one of many who thought it was “mediocre at best,” maybe you don’t love/respect yourself enough. That’s right, when you diss “i” you diss yourself.

I know you’d hoped to find a hyper-synthesized, trap/edm beat underneath a hodge podge of nonsensical, bubblegum brain poison for lyrics; but instead you found something humane, catchy, and uplifting with a nice oldies sample. And now you’re confused. Maybe even a little peeved.

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Unlike most artists, Lamar actually came at you directly with his consciousness. He seemed like a real person, one with legitimate feelings expressed by words in the dictionary. An artist who has more to discuss than money, THOTS, and drugs. Someone who actually took the time to make you feel good about yourself.

Your brain hasn’t been able to process barz of this magnitude in a long time.

Don’t believe me….

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One more for ‘da folk… Just to make sure you’re still with me…

But i guess filling your eardrums with garbage is the popular thing to do nowadays.

I missed that memo. #thatsdead

Follow Me @allielyke

It Ain’t Human: My Thoughts on Celebrity Shaming

It Ain’t Human: My Thoughts on Celebrity Shaming

There is a growing issue I’d like to address to the journalism world with this video (K. Michelle giving a verbal smackdown to a blogger from Bossip.com). I do not like how this industry has become so greedy that we monopolize on the pain of others so much that we inflict it on others with our reporting.

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I understand times are tough. The public is asking for entertainment stories like this, according to your focus groups and ratings. But, the problem with that model is it’s lack of respect for humanity.

These are REAL people we are talking about. At one point in their lives, they were just as worthless and unprofitable as you are today. Yes, they get paid a lot of money to act a fool. And, #YAAS, it feels SO good to declare their transgressions to the masses and make their lives miserable!…

…..Until an artist or celebrity turns their mouth into a Desert Eagle and sends your soul to the creator with expletives alone. Or worse, commits suicide because, to them, the world is over. I mean, if you think about it, no matter how much money you make, it’s not a good dollar earned if you can’t even be seen as a normal person. #FoodForThought #ItsMyBusiness #PardonHerFrench

Follow me @AllieLyke

RIP Robin Williams. It’s Cool, I’m Alright, But…

Only my loved ones understand how much the discussion of divorce means to me. I’m not going to go into detail, but my parents split had an interesting, long-lasting effect on me and my upbringing, for obvious reasons. Dealing with the change was the toughest part. There were two things that helped me through this, Las Vegas Summer vacays and Mrs. Doubtfire.

What Happens In Vegas Stays In Vegas

 

Even after they split, my parents continued to send my sister and I to go see our grandparents in Las Vegas. It was to make sure we still knew our relatives, in spite of the separation and discontent my parents had for each other.

I loved going out there. Especially kickin’ it with my grandparents.

They took us everywhere and exposed us to so many new things. Shoot, it was because of my grandfather that by the time I was 11, I could navigate an airport and casino alone and find my way back home through the city unscathed just in time to go into the deep-end of the pool he used to shove us in to get us out the safe shallow end. I could get around because they gave us the skills to do so.

My grandfather was called back home last month.

“All My Love to You Poppett”

And now Williams has passed. The man that made so many of my favorite movies: Aladdin, Patch Adams, FernGully, Flubber, and most of all Mrs. Doubtfire.

Oh yes. The great Euphegenia Doubtfire

Mrs. Doubtfire was more than a movie that made me laugh. It helped me understand that no matter what my parents did, the love they felt for me wouldn’t change and everything was going to be okay, even if they weren’t together. The scene at the end when he got REAL with us– you remember:

 

I just knew I was going to be okay after hearing this.

At least until today.

When the safety net goes away

I was talking to my boyfriend the other day about how (in ours 20s) we are the most vulnerable to depression and social disorders. I explained the reason like this: For (at least) 18 years (for the privileged few of us with loving homes) we are in a regular system of school and recreational life. Nothing to worry about, no real responsibilities, and the freedom to do whatever we want, within reason. Then we are pushed into the real world; a world free of order, sense, and reason; and told to make due and hopefully you’ll come out on top, if you’re lucky….

Essentially my safety net was my grandfather and children’s classics like Aladdin & Mrs. Doubtfire. They are now gone and I’m going through a depressive state.

However, depression is like winning the lottery compared to worse conditions young adults fall victim to. substance abuse, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, cutting – the list goes on. When you think about the state of mind young adults are in today with student loan debt crisis and a terribly horrific economy, I’m shocked half the world still exists.

You want to get more depressed: the man that tried to make us all happy when we were confused little kids ended up killing himself for the same reason. That makes me feel like shit. Even more depressing, this happens everyday if not every hour of the day.

In 2011, every 13 minutes someone killed themselves on average! it wouldn’t surprise me if the numbers were significantly higher when the year is over. And what are we doing to change this…don’t worry I’ll wait.

NOTHING.

What about the other men, women, and teens who lost their safety nets, either this morning or at another moment, who don’t understand that they need to get their frustrations out on paper; who may need to talk to someone about going to rehab; Who need hugs when their problem is greater than their will to live?

I’m making the choice to let my emotions out with tears, expression, and Mrs. Doubtfire on repeat. I hope the rest of you are in a good mind state to choose to react just as positively. However, if you’re still trying to find some sense in all of this, and can’t find a happy place, know that you aren’t alone in your confusion and fear.

You’re not the only one that’s saddened by this great loss, nor are you the only one crying about it. But, in the words of Mrs. Doubtfire, “You’re going to be alright.” And we can get through this, together.

 

Dedicated to George Lyke Sr. & Robin Williams, two souls that made Allie happy. May you both rest in paradise. Follow me @AllieLyke

Sex You: The Cleanest Song Out

Below you will find “Sex You” by Bando Jonez Have you heard it?

So, what did you think?

I can tell you right now I lost my mind when I heard it for the first time. “What is this nasty garbage?…just another song about sexin’ some THOTarocci!” (Just a couple initial thoughts). This song eventually, however, became a guilty pleasure and I ultimately gave in to the sexual darkness.

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Still, here are the Reasons why this crazy song became dope to Allison Allie.

  1. Above everything else, the beat is undeniably fucking awesome (Don’t tell me that bass and kick with the water bubbles don’t touch your soul when it came on?)
  2. Vocals are solid. And that’s real.
  3. And most importantly, he doesn’t curse, cat call, describe sex scenes and/or sexual parts, or objectify and disrespect a woman(en).

The song that I thought was so nasty and THOT-esque, is simply just a guy asking a girl to have sex with him and explaining his pursuit.

Literally.

Throughout the entire song, all he says is “Can I have sex with you? Have you had good sex recently? You know I’m from Atlanta, right?  Yeah, I was raised like a pimp, and all these girls want me, but I just want you…so…”

In all honesty, I could probably write a 10 page article on how clean this topic, but for the sake of time and your

 attention, I’ll keep it brief. Maybe when I become a Professor. 

All I can say is this: Ladies, whether you answer yes or no, I think that’s a legitimate question for a man to ask a woman he wants to pursue, has pursued, or has a committed relationship with (real talk). Of course we’re going to say no if we’re not ready. But, you can’t get mad at him for wanting to. It’s human nature. Yes, you may not want to–it may creep you out, he may not be your type, he might be a boogawoof, or whatever fucking reason–so you have a right to say no. But I also don’t think it’s an issue if he politely runs his game. Clean approach, nice smile, and evocative tone, GIRL, he’s just asking for a smile =)

But if Rico Rich Dollaz from out South tries to come at me with ratchetry and coonery, it’s on, no shade.

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Besides, don’t act like you heauxs don’t have urges, too. Some of you wish you were getting some instead of reading this (it’s okay, I understand and empathize)! Seriously, though. I get that sleeping with a lot of people is a major health risk and is frowned upon, but there is nothing wrong with having fun with someone you care about, even if you’re not with him/her for the rest of your life.

You can’t help who you love or who you want to love on. And you can’t help if they love you, love you loving on them, and love loving on you.

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Follow Me @AllieLyke

Macklemore’s Apology

A lot of things are devastating me about our world now:

1. Beyoncé and Jay-Z are the most important people in our universe #FACT.

 

2. West coast teams are dominating the sports industry…at least, minus Carmelo’s stunt last week.

Image by NBAmemes

Image by NBAmemes

 

3. There’s an oversaturation of racial ambiguity in commercials, following suit of the Cheerios incident. You know what they say, It’s not because it’s right, it’s because it’s economically sound. For example, meet the Rukavina’s

 

aaaand 4. Macklemore won best rap album over Kendrick Lamar (I call total BULLSHIT on that play)!

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Image by pandawhale.com

 

That apology was BS, too bro! Not to mention McThriftPantyShop decided to post it on IG like he needed to prove a point.

Macklemore via Instagram

Macklemore via Instagram

 

Needless to say I was PISSED!

 

However there is hope yet. An amazing person at Complex, Jack Erwin, decided to write an open letter in response to the apology. I said self, there is no need to dedicate the rest of the Chiberian polar vortex to making the ultimate Macklemore meme/gif.

Erwin says,

Quit apologizing. Not to get too reductive, but that shit is not hip-hop. Enough with the “I robbed you” and “I wanted you to win.” You’ve been doing this for years, you released your album independently, of course you wanted to win. Own that shit, man. And definitely enough with the Instagramming your text apologies, it just confirms everyone’s worst biases about the mawkishness of white people.

 

What do you say after that? lol

 

Follow Me @AllieLyke

#WTFU: Man Sentenced to 6 Months for OVERpaid Child Support

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Clifford Hall, on his way to a 6 month jail sentence for overpaid child support.

I can’t stand to hear stories about women who abuse the child support system. Especially when the father is willing to go above and beyond to support his children. Clifford Hall, who was sentenced to six months in jail after his son’s mother asked for an additional $3,500 after he overpaid for a child support ERROR!

You read it right! Hall–immediately after learning he was past-due in payments–not only paid the balance, but an additional $1,000 to balance his debt, and still got sentenced to six months in jail, all because of greed.

His lawyer, Tyesha Elam, spoke to HuffPost Live about her client’s dire situation:

“I assumed as soon as he brought me the receipt catching him up as well as the letter advising him of the overpayment, I thought, ‘oh this one will be easy.’ I’m thinking, ‘let me let the opposing counsel know and we’ll be done with this matter.'”

“But the opposing counsel informed me that she wasn’t willing to settle the case. She wanted $3,500 in attorney’s fees and she was confident from this judge that she could get it. So she refused to settle. So we had to move forward.”

“As of June 14, 2013, in the state of Texas, a person can get behind on their child support, show up to court, paid up, and still go to jail. The maximum sentence is 6 months in jail, and that is exactly what Mr. Hall was sentenced to.”

Elam was unable to appeal the judge’s decision, so Hall was left with no choice but to turn himself in. His sentence began on Jan. 21, 2014.

When he heard the verdict, Hall was shocked.

“My mouth just dropped. I’m looking around–I looked at my attorney like, ‘she’s joking, she can’t be serious,'” he explained. “We’re just sitting there like, ‘wow, I’m going to jail for six months. I’m going to jail for six months. I’m going to jail. This is so unfair, this is not right, this isn’t justice. This is not right.’ How is this in my son’s best interest? That doesn’t even make sense.”

It doesn’t make sense to me either Cliff. And here’s why:

Even though my parents kept my sister and I out their divorce disputes, I’m no stranger to the drama induced by child support. Visitation rights, emotional spats between parents–it can get really ugly. Luckily, for our sake, my parents never pawned us under selfish intentions, at least not for money. Even though my mother had custody of us, she never abused her right to get child support from him. In fact, I distinctly remember my mother tell us kids, “You better thank your father. He’s the reason you got (whatever she needed assistance in paying for) this!” She understood that it wasn’t her right to taint our view of our father and let us make our own decisions.

Now, I understand that every situation is different, and that there may be more factors to this equation that aren’t shown on HuffPost Live, but it still doesn’t explain why a man who made an effort to get back on track with child support was punished for it. I can only imagine what must be going through his son’s mind right now. Assuming he lives with his mother, I’m sure he’s getting a (tainted) different perspective of the situation.

What are your thoughts?

Follow me @AllieLyke

#WTFU: Joan Rivers Calls North West ‘Ugly’

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Okay, as the EverythingAllison fans already know, I don’t care for Kanye West & Kim Kardashian that much. I could write a book about my disdain for them. But, in their favor, I can say their daughter is the cutest little munchkin and they did a good job in making her.

So when I heard Joan Rivers was throwing shade at the 7-month-old I almost lost my mind. According to RadarOnline, Ms. Rivers said

“That baby is ugly … I’ve never seen a 6-month-old so desperately in need of a waxing.”

Say what Joan? We talkin’ ’bout babies now? We’re throwing vanity into the equation, too? Because, all the collagen in the world couldn’t remove the valleys of wrinkles on you! Plus, your jowls are starting to look like the Grand Canyon!

You may have been trying to give Fashion Police some ratings with your ridiculous comments, and your audience may have been laughing because the alternative would have been to be slaughtered by the alien living inside you, but don’t you think talking about babies is a bit much? That’s the last thing I would expect from the future Face of Boe.

I’m sorry, but I’m not sorry. You just shouldn’t talk about babies.

Follow Me @AllieLyke

 

#WTFU: Rihanna “Pour It Up” Video

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Came here to talk to y’all about Rihanna’s latest (allegedly) jaw-dropping visual for her song “Pour It Up,” the basic (literal) rewrite to Juicy J’s “Bandz” and the song that brought out all the circumstantial lesbians out there who would rather go see butts jiggle than to get their eyes poked out by some man’s “johnson.”

While part of me hates this video for it’s sexploitation and vulgarity, another part accepts it. Coming from a girl who was brought up on the 504 boyz, Cash Money, Ludacris and the Ying Yang Twins, the concepts of twerking and stripping on camera don’t necessarily excite me as a video that’s profound in terms of plot and/or creativity. Sure, Rihanna recruited some of the best dancers in the business for this video and even gave us a sample of her skills; but overall, like the song, the video is basic, boring, and down right cliche’. 

To the other bloggers out there looking for some crazy adjective (aside from ‘awesome’ and ‘epic’) please stop now. There is nothing special to report about this music video (#WTFU). It’s just Rih Rih, popping her booty (in or out of water), wearing something skimpy/provocative, and rubbing her crotch – her last 3-4 videos in a nutshell. And to the Rihanna fans (#WTFU), this should be a sign to send some fan mail to your girl and let her know that her ideas are wack, her songs are wack, and her videos are wack! She’s too damn pretty, and has too much talent to continue to give us the same mediocre, overused, hypersexualized crap.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I like turning up just like the next person. I consider it a perfect means of escapism from the real world. And I, too, enjoy the strip club (I went to Stadium for my 21st b-day). But don’t think, for one second, that I’m not going to sit around and let an artist, who I had a crush on at one point, sit there and deliver the same hyped up sex-fantasy she was giving me in 2011 and expect me to pay good money for it.

Maybe it’s time for Rih Rih to take a year-long break, develop her creativity, and give me something new. Cause I’m so tired of it boo! I really am.

Check out the video below and share your thoughts.

Follow Me @AllieLyke

#LaidStr8: Drake – Nothing Was The Same

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Same issues + New technique = The Perfect Basic Upgrade

Since Drake first came out with So Far Gone, I’ve put him in the “therapeutic remedy” catalogue in my music membrane. That is, whenever I went through a trying time–break-up, bad day at work, insecurities, etc.–there was at least one, or two, of his songs that could get me through it. It’s almost like Drake was, and still is, my Niles Crain, who undoubtedly is just as fucked up as I am but still manages to make it seem so easy to get through. With that said, while Nothing Was The Same proves to be another therapeutic album, it’s definitely not the same emotive, crooning Drake we heard on Take Care and Thank Me Later. I mean, when you look at the content, it’s still the same in terms of topics: industry woes, previous relationships, daddy issues, the whole nine-yards. However, the way he goes about addressing them has a completely different formula.

For one thing, Drake recruited a new set of depression infused cameo artists including the likes of Jhene’ Aiko, and Sampha, who, if you weren’t in your right mind, would make you start balling the moment you heard them. Then, there is less abstraction and more trap, I guess to meet the contemporary needs for the hipsters looking to bob their heads to a tune when a bowl isn’t in their hands. Finally, there’s a lot more repetition, proclaiming a sense of affirmation. I’m almost positive that 99.9% of Facebook & Twitter users will say “I’m on my worst behavior” after today, and half of them will yell it in the streets like banshees. I can’t blame them, though. Escapism is a bitch and with these trying times she don’t come out that often.

Overall, despite it being similar to a basic iPhone upgrade, I say this album is perfect when you need a quick pick-me-up when you have those off moments in the day–boss pisses you off, FedLoans harrasses you on the phone, or when your girl complains about you “liking” too many IG photos that aren’t of her (just to name a few scenarios when applicable). It may not prove as effective as Drake’s previous works, but you know what, he gets an E for Effort, and it’s better than the rest of this garbage that I didn’t feel like reviewing this summer.

#LaidStr8 Scale:  6/8

#Str8Songs: 5. Own It*, 6. Worst Behavior, 12. Too Much, 15. All Me, 10. The Language

Follow Me @AllieLyke